It’s human nature to want to be liked.
I mean, when you think about it, one of the very first things we learn is how to get other people to like us. At an early age, we’re taught table manners and communication skills. We’re taught to say “please” and “thank you” and to be nice to every person we meet. Because, in the ideal world, doing these things would make each and every encounter you have go smoothly. And ultimately, these behaviors would make everybody like you.
However, as I’m sure we all know, we don’t live in an ideal world. And, sometimes, even when you follow these behavior expectations, people don’t like you. They don’t have a clear explanation or a specific reason why. They just simply don’t like you.
In my opinion, the not knowing is the worst thing about these situations. Because, intellectually, we know it’s not our fault that these people don’t like us, and that there’s nothing we could ever do to control it. However, we can’t help but wonder what exactly it is about ourselves that makes us unlikable to them. Is it something we said or did? Is it how we dress or what we like? Is it that nervous habit we have, or that insecurity that keeps nagging at us? It’s so easy to found out that someone doesn’t care for you and then suddenly start to second-guess everything. And as the insecurity and self-doubt continue to escalate, you almost start to wonder if maybe them not liking you is in fact a fault of your own.
One thing I’ve come to realize about these situations is that, despite what insecurities may try and tell you, you are not the opinion of someone else. Your self-worth is not defined by someone else’s perception of you; it is defined by the way you perceive yourself.
Just because someone thinks something doesn’t make it true. If a person came up to you and told you they thought the sky was green or hot coffee was better than iced coffee (both of which are false), you wouldn’t take them for their word. So, why would you presume someone’s negative perception of you is the truth?
The fact of the matter is, not everyone you meet is going to like you…and that’s perfectly okay. The thing to keep in mind is that someone else’s negativity doesn’t need to impact your life whatsoever. Your worth is determined by no one but yourself. Another person doesn’t get to make that decision for you.
How do you feel about people not liking you?